http://www.gofundme.com/2z6m84
The link above is a GoFundMe sight. Every little bit helps for Adam and I to see our dream of adoption coming true. Even if you would like to only give a $1.00 it is truly appreciated. We thank you for your support and God Bless You!
Love Tracie
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
What June 2nd means to me....
I am so glad I have gotten my thoughts out of my head and put to good use….I sleep much better at night.
So yesterday turned into a hard day for me. It was a Sunday off and I wanted to get our spare bedroom cleaned out and ready for guests... coming at the end of this month. I was really just focused on that and not the date. Nope not the date at all, so I got up and ate breakfast and looked at Facebook to realize it was June 2nd.
12 years ago I married my first husband. All those wonderful memories of that day came flooding back to me. I was 20 and so excited to start life together. I really could not wait to be a wife and I was hoping in a short time a mother as well. It was a wonderful wedding and we had so much fun at our reception. Dancing and laughing the night away. Why did I decide to clean out the spare room on such a day full of memories?
I worked on the room all day. Forgetting all the wonderful things I have saved as keep sakes were in that room. I came across pictures, the guest book for our wedding (which also had one of our napkins and a picture of the two of us tucked inside), and so many other things. It turned out to be so hard. I kept trying to keep a stiff upper lip. I know Justin is pain free in heaven now. I know I have a wonderful life with an amazing husband, but you always remember the life you use to live as well.
My dad came upstairs to help and move things for me just after I found the guest book, and asked if he could help with anything yet. I am sitting on the floor holding the guest book and surrounded by a bunch of memories. I have tears running down my face and stand up and tell Dad I need a few minutes and show him the things I have found. Dad looked at them and then looked at me and knew I need a moment, but I felt the need to explain. He said he knew that our anniversary was coming, but that he had not realized the date either. I said I would be back in a few moments and went outside with my babies and had a good cry.
Afterwards I felt better, but while crying I was remembering all the plans he and I had for a future that will never be. He was such a huge part of my life at that time and I miss him still. Sometimes I struggle with understanding how I can hold on to something and want something at the same time feeling blessed and loved now where I am too. It can all be a little confusing.
Life goes on and sometimes at a rate that totally boggles the mind. I finished the room because it gave me something to do and not think, putting all those wonderful memories back into boxes to look through another day.
Adam came home and remembered the date. The wonderful man that he is understood my mixed up feelings or at least tried his best too. He held me tight and we just sat there for a good long while remembering a man we both loved.
All I know is that Adam and I have a wonderful future together…no matter where this path leads and wonderful memories of Justin. The Lord is our guide and we look to him for the answers.
Thank you, always T
So yesterday turned into a hard day for me. It was a Sunday off and I wanted to get our spare bedroom cleaned out and ready for guests... coming at the end of this month. I was really just focused on that and not the date. Nope not the date at all, so I got up and ate breakfast and looked at Facebook to realize it was June 2nd.
12 years ago I married my first husband. All those wonderful memories of that day came flooding back to me. I was 20 and so excited to start life together. I really could not wait to be a wife and I was hoping in a short time a mother as well. It was a wonderful wedding and we had so much fun at our reception. Dancing and laughing the night away. Why did I decide to clean out the spare room on such a day full of memories?
I worked on the room all day. Forgetting all the wonderful things I have saved as keep sakes were in that room. I came across pictures, the guest book for our wedding (which also had one of our napkins and a picture of the two of us tucked inside), and so many other things. It turned out to be so hard. I kept trying to keep a stiff upper lip. I know Justin is pain free in heaven now. I know I have a wonderful life with an amazing husband, but you always remember the life you use to live as well.
My dad came upstairs to help and move things for me just after I found the guest book, and asked if he could help with anything yet. I am sitting on the floor holding the guest book and surrounded by a bunch of memories. I have tears running down my face and stand up and tell Dad I need a few minutes and show him the things I have found. Dad looked at them and then looked at me and knew I need a moment, but I felt the need to explain. He said he knew that our anniversary was coming, but that he had not realized the date either. I said I would be back in a few moments and went outside with my babies and had a good cry.
Afterwards I felt better, but while crying I was remembering all the plans he and I had for a future that will never be. He was such a huge part of my life at that time and I miss him still. Sometimes I struggle with understanding how I can hold on to something and want something at the same time feeling blessed and loved now where I am too. It can all be a little confusing.
Life goes on and sometimes at a rate that totally boggles the mind. I finished the room because it gave me something to do and not think, putting all those wonderful memories back into boxes to look through another day.
Adam came home and remembered the date. The wonderful man that he is understood my mixed up feelings or at least tried his best too. He held me tight and we just sat there for a good long while remembering a man we both loved.
All I know is that Adam and I have a wonderful future together…no matter where this path leads and wonderful memories of Justin. The Lord is our guide and we look to him for the answers.
Thank you, always T
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